Coming out gay in the context of a Filipino family is tough. Different cultures give their family, traditions, and religion a lot of value. This makes it difficult to discuss anything related to LGBTQ+. For some people, being gay is not an individual thing; it is something that influences the entire family. Cultural expectations and the need to safeguard the family’s honor and adhere to traditions make it complex to accept themselves, let alone come out to the public.

Filipino Cultural Expectations and Coming Out

An average Filipino family expects their children to marry someone of the opposite sex and continue the family legacy. The older generation is fond of telling kids to take their family responsibilities seriously instead of focusing on the self. These perspectives are also usually informed by the Catholic religion, where teachings actively oppose the existence of non-heterosexual identities. This makes it harder for gay South Asian men to navigate these cultures without feeling alone, confused, or scared of being turned away. These strong assumptions can lead to feelings of shame, resulting in serious mental health issues like anxiety or depression.

This anticipation and dread of letting down family members complicates coming out and can be an emotionally taxing affair. For some, there is an involuntary urge to remain inauthentic so as to preserve the status quo in the family. 

Discourse discussing sexual orientation is often avoided and replaced by passive disapproval. In some situations, parents may somewhat accept their child’s sexual orientation but will refuse to address it, further exacerbating feelings of alienation and invisibility.

Therapeutic Intervention in Identity Issues

Access to mental health support, particularly for those living in Chicago, can prove to be beneficial. Therapy serves as a haven where emotions can be processed, cultural constructs worked around, and acceptance and self-love can begin.

A therapist who can appreciate the complexities of South Asian identity blended with LGBTQ+ experiences is precious in their offerings. Therapy goes beyond coping with external forces, fostering a strong sense of self in the face of opposition because of culture. It enables expression of emotions, coping strategies, and the desire to put up healthy boundaries with the family while still being able to maintain the relationships in a genuine manner.

In addition to fostering personal development, therapy also enables an individual to engage in healthy conversations with other family members. It can also deal with some known issues like how to counter religious bigotry, manage family expectations, and handle situations where acceptance is provided too late.

The Takeaway

Despite how difficult it is to come out as gay within the Filipino or South Asian cultural framework, it is a journey that cannot be taken alone. Therapy in Chicago provides the emotional support needed to process self-acceptance and family discussions with needed confidence. In the hands of a professional, it is possible to integrate your identity and cultural background with your emotional health in a nurturing manner.

Summit Psychotherapy is here to support you in your journey and with your family and cultural needs.